STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!

Very inspirational piece and blog. Check out what Godly Chic Diaries is writing today.

The Godly Chic Diaries

  • Our work should equip

    the next generation of women

    to outdo us in every field

    this is the legacy we’ll leave behind

    RUPI KAUR

They say you are a woman, you are not worthy. I ask WHY?

To YOU, my future female colleagues, from all walks of life, don’t ever let the opinions of others dictate your decisions. You are going to face obstacles and doubters, but use them to fuel you, never stop you. Incredible things happen to women who walk side by side, hold each other up and support each other! You determine whats best for you. Be who you are. Stand up for yourself and others – that’s what I’m doing now!God bless!

Blessings and love…

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The Finish

The Finish

by Lena Arnold

 The FinishHistory of the above poem The Finish

I recently learned that my poem “The Finish” was in a high school graduation flyer in a completely different state.  I didn’t mind that.  In fact I was very flattered.  The whole point of the poem is to inspire people never to give up. What did bother me was the fact that whoever decided to put it in the flyer did not bother to cite the author ME!  My friend who was at the graduation saw it and exclaimed to the person who created the flyer, “This is my friends poem! Where did you get this and why isn’t her name on it?”

The person replied, “You’re friend wrote this.  Really? No she didn’t I just found it somewhere.”  As if my friend couldn’t possibly have a friend who could write such an inspirational poem. Oh, and she never elaborated where the “somewhere” was she found it. So I was in effect flattered and insulted all in the same day.

God gave me this poem in 1986.  I said God because I believe God gave me the gift of writing and I am often inspired by the Word of God to write. So I don’t mean He literally spoke to me in a cloud of light, I simply mean He inspired me and I wrote the poem.

It was copy written at that time and first performed publicly by ME at a graduation ceremony for a non-profit program for run by an organization called Project IMPACT Dayton.  I was an employee and co-creator of a program called the Truancy Prevention Project, which is still being utilized by an organization called Project CURE in Dayton, OH.

Since that time, I have placed this poem on the last page of every book I have written and published, with the exception of Jackie’s Way. It can also be found on all my blogs.

So, if you ever see my poem The Finish with the words “author anonymous” or “author unknown,” or no author at all, do me and all other writers a favor-contact whoever published it and send them this link.  While it feels good to inspire, being invisible-Not so much.-Lena Fields-Arnold, Author “The Finish.”

Here’s a picture with the poem. Please feel free to share it with them as well as with anyone else who might need a word of encouragement.

God Bless-Lena

PS, if you like this poem, please click the link and buy some Finish Products.  They’re really cool. Click here and BUY the Finish Products online at Zazzle.

 

Secondary Infertility

The Emotions of Secondary Infertility
Secondary infertility is a highly emotional journey for couples to have to take. Many couples find it hard to believe that they can’t get pregnant, especially after getting pregnant so easily the first time around. It is common to experience feelings of anger and frustration towards those who are so easily able to expand their families. Couples experiencing secondary infertility often feel particularly alone too – not only do family and friends seem unable to understand, but those experiencing primary infertility are often less than supportive. These intense emotions can really make dealing with infertility difficult.

What Causes Secondary Infertility?

Many of the causes of secondary infertility are similar to those associated with primary infertility. Most couples find that their secondary infertility is the result of a combination of these factors. To Read More Click Here

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Black’ish-More Like Lame’ish

blackishThe title says it all. My family and I tried so hard to like the show. We really did. As a fan of both Anthony Anderson and Tracey Ellis Ross and huge fans of Laurence Fisburne, we held out high hopes that that the show would bring us back to the time of the Cosby show. Say what you want about Bill Cosby, but the man knew how to create a good show and he knew how to make you laugh.

But this show is neither. It has had a couple of brief moments when it actually made us laugh, but most of the time it just has us asking “What the hell?”

So let’s start with what’s wrong that could easily be made right.

Stop preaching at us. If we wanted to be preached at we would be watching a televangelist and not Blackish. That’s one of the things that made the Cosby show funny. I could turn on the TV, see a successful black family, who at least initially didn’t take itself too seriously. Stop taking everything so seriously. Lighten up and have some fun.

Quit playing like black folks go to the job and have open discussions about our personal issues with our white co-workers, especially our bosses. No black person in America does that. Think about it, when have you ever gone to work and sat around the table with your white boss and co workers having a therapy session about any personal issues? I’m not talking about general stuff we joke about. This dude is going there talking about black lives matter and white racism, and personal stuff between him and his wife. I don’t think so. You know we don’t do that.

Your momma and your daddy living with you. Naw, uh unh! We might have bought that premise if Bow was 100% white, but ain’t no way in hell a sista gonna let both your deadbeat parents live up in there.

Why does every week have to be a social issue? Or why can’t you have a social issue and still be funny-you know like the “Jefferson’s,” “Sanford and Son,” and “All in the Family” were back in the day. They managed to deal with a boatload of stuff, but they knew how to make it Funny.

Dre and Charlie never work. Do you really think that racist boss of his would let two black men get away with that?

Before the baby they had two black sons, one of whom is portrayed as stupid and clueless and who Dre treats like crap, and the other is a cute, lovable Stepin Fechit.  The show spends most of it’s time pointing out the ways in which the world discriminates and sterotypes black people while committing the more heinous crime of demasulating black men.

Black’sh portrays the men as  buffoons who don’t love their sons. The grandfather is portrayed as a deadbeat dad, hustling drunkard, still mooching off his son. Bow is often heard calling her husband an idiot. She downplays his contributions to the household and society. For example in more than one episode she belittes his profession because she’s a doctor who saves lives while he basically spends his life lying to people to get them to buy things. She has a medical degree while just has a bachelor’s degree “in Marketing.” She references this difference a lot to assert that she is somehow smarter than him while the understated reference is “I don’t really need you.” Maybe that’s deliberate on the part of the writer. I don’t know, but it’s another example of the demasculation of the black man.

If it wasn’t for the hilarity of the Character Charlie we would have left a long time ago. He’s a dumb, lazy, borderline absentee parent, but at least he’s funny.

Even through all his we tried, until the episodes of the marriage problems. Words cannot the describe the disappointment. Yeah we get it, black people have marriage problems, they get divorced, but it just seemed like it came out nowhere. That made no sense!

Okay, I don’t know about y’all, but I watch television sitcoms to escape reality, to veg, to laugh. That’s why it is called a “Situation Comedy!” People find themselves in comedic situations, we poke fun at reality, we laugh, we have a good time, and we feel better about the real situations we are in.

There is nothing funny about Blackish or it’s  “I wish I was a Different World” spin off Grown’ish.  I’m disappointed because My husband and  I were looking forward to having family nights once a week with Black’ish, but after the first few episodes my husband was done. The kids and persevered through the first season, but now we’re done. But maybe it’s just us’ish.

Nevertheless, I don’t want to end on a negative note because at the end of the day this is a positive black show, with an extremely talented cast.  It has a gifted writer/producer in Kenya Barris and despite my personal opinion that it is overdone and in too politically correct a fashion: Barris and the cast are to be applauded for having the courage to deal with controversial issues.  In a world where so much television is garbage at least they are trying to bring something meaningful to the screen. That is something to be respected and honored.

Even though I said I was done, I’m probably not, because the truth is I want to like this show.  I really do.  I want to support positive black television and for that reason alone I will probably tune into the show because I am hoping that at some point the shows writers and producers will recognize that they can get their points across and still be funny.  I’m waiting for the moment when the show will hit it’s stride-that magical moment when everything comes together just right and the show becomes a television icon-a thing regarded as a representative symbol of something. In this case the symbol of the SITCOM!  When that moment happens, Black’ish and Grown’ish both have the potential to be the best thing that ever happened to television. I look forward to seeing it happen.

Tiny Toilet Stalls and Teachers with Guns

Lena Arnold

4/23/2018

Restrooms--Arvin61r58

Okay, I have put this off for far too long. I can’t hold it any longer. I have to talk about tiny toilet stalls.

So there I was in the middle of Black Panther, when that extra large icee, that I really had no business drinking anyway, finally worked it’s way through me. I tried to hold out until the movie hit a boring spot (it never did) allowing me to feel like I could go without missing something important.

Eventually I had to go, and when I did I remembered another reason why I hate going to theater restrooms. Oh who am I kidding, pretty much ALL public bathrooms-TINY TOILET STALLS!

OMG! Seriously! Who designs these things? I know it’s those tiny little people from that show! They’re trying to get us back for the Barnum and Bailey exploitation. For the record, it wasn’t me. I wasn’t even born then. Don’t blame me for what my ancestors did. (Hmm, this sounds familiar.)

But I digress.

Okay, so I’m not fat, but I am a (plus size woman) I put that in parenthesis because I still don’t know who decided that I am plus sized, because when I was growing up I was “big boned.” Which I guess was supposed to be a nice way of saying you ain’t skinny, but you sho’ nuff not fat either. But these bathrooms ain’t made for us big boned girls. They are made for skinny teens, Asians, and garden gnomes; and it’s not fair because us “plus size” American women outnumber them all. In concrete numbers and weight-so why are these bathroom stalls so tiny? ARRRGGGHHHHH!

So I wanna apologize to all the disabled people in advance, ‘cause I’m gonna use your stall. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again. I’ll try to be fast so I don’t inconvenience you, but you gotta understand, my butt cannot take rubbing up against the toilet paper holder another day; and it is a really icky feeling if your exposed parts accidentally bump into the side of the stall while you are trying to reach for that paper. I mean, I’d like to believe that stall was cleaned before I went to use it, but I know the truth.

So to you bathroom stall designers out there, would you do us a favor and make the stalls just a little bigger. This is a case where less (as in fewer stalls) and bigger is better. If you are thinking about telling me to lose weight so I can navigate these tiny toilets stalls well you shutta you face ‘cause I ain’t fat-I’m just big boned!

Teachers with guns

Now that that is out of the way, lets talk about teachers with guns.

So this Parkland thing got me to thinking. At first I was all for teachers carrying guns. But then I started thinking about some of the teachers I’d had over the years and in hindsight, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. teacher meme

So let me tell you about some of them. I have changed the names to protect their progeny from embarrassment. So once upon a time there was my fifth grade homeroom teacher. He was going through some things as we discovered when he began crying during class and yelling at us because his wife was leaving him and his water heater had busted and left his basement flooded. He banged on students desks, while ranting because someone was talking during his discourse. That dude is a case study for why teachers shouldn’t have guns.

Then there was my sixth grade English teacher who like to torture students by hitting them with wooden spoons or making them stand in corners with their fists in their mouths and one foot in the air if they misbehaved. If their foot touched the floor during their time out-watch out, ‘cause that wooden spoon would be like “WHACK!” I’m not kidding. Parents knew about her and didn’t care either. You know what, she was an awesome English teacher and had very few discipline problems-buuuuuuuuut I still don’t think she should carry a gun in school. Boy can you imagine the tortures she would have thought up if she’d been packin’?

Let’s see, back then just about every principal was a mini dictator. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying these were bad people, but it’s a bit disconcerting to know your principals held contest to see who’s paddle had the potential to cause the most anguish, pain, and suffering to a student. We are talking about people who would put holes in them to make them swing faster. Have them made out of fiberglass, or put nails on one side and hang it on the wall for kids to see. In my day, going to the principals office them was a real threat and truly a thing to be feared. Today’s most feared dictators could learn a thing or two from these guys. Although, some schools might need a principal like this, ‘cause you’re gonna definitely think twice before you cut up in class or bully another student. Nevertheless, at the end of the day I wouldn’t want have wanted those guys carrying guns. They took waaaaaaay too much pleasure out of beating the hell out of kids with those paddles. I don’t even want to think about how they would have been with a gun.

I don’t pretend to have any answers to today’s school violence and I don’t envy the school administrators who have to come up with solutions. Even if they decide to arm teachers. I just hope none of them are like Mr. C., my middle school art teacher who got caught up in a porn scandal on the day his boyfriend left him for his best friends underage daughter.

*This post is not intended to advocate for gun control or to disavow it-to take sides for one, or be against the other. Its just my thoughts about some real teachers I have had and the above stories are only scratching the surface. In general though, I have had some really great teachers and even the best among them have a lot on their plate already without adding security guard to an already full plate? Share your thoughts. I’d love to hear from you. I’d like to hear your crazy teacher stories too. I think we could all use a good laugh right about now.

 

Who is responsible When a Twelve Year Old Commits Suicide from Bullying?

The Headline read, “Parents of 12-year-old who killed herself following alleged bullying want school officials ‘held responsible'”

Upon first reading the headline I thought, “Yeah, they should have done more to protect this girl.  When she is at school it is their responsibility to keep all kids safe right?

But after further reading the story I had to ask myself the following questions.  “Is it really all their fault? You read the story, then come back to this page so we can have an online conversation about what should have happened and who is really responsible.

The parents of a 12-year-old girl who took her own life after they say she was severely bullied by peers, and even adults, at her Florida middle school are calling for school officials to “be held responsible, ultimately, for what they’ve allowed.”-Click her to read full article.

You’re back.  Thanks for returning so let’s talk about what should have happened in this very tragic situation.

WHAT SCHOOLS SHOULD DO

Federal Courts have already ruled that when a child is at school it is the schools responsibility to ensure the safety of that child.  I recall nearly 40 years ago watching an after-school special about a cheerleader who was routinely bullied by the athletes, ultimately culminating in a violent rape of the student while she was participating in school activities.  I can’t remember the name of the movie, so if any of you remember the case or the movie, please post it here.  The parents tried repeatedly to get the school to do something about the problem but they continued to blow off the parents and ignore the problem even to the point of blaming the cheerleader.

The parents sued the school system and the case made it’s way up to the Supreme Court which ruled that it is a schools obligation to protect children when they are on school property and/or participating in school sponsored activities and events. In effect they are to operate under the same reasonable care a parent would.

WHAT PARENTS SHOULD DO

Parents should fight for their children.  A couple of friends of mine have personal experience with this issue.  One friends child was routinely bullied on the bus.  He would come home crying every day about how he was treated.  She tried talking to the bus driver, to the school principal, and the superintendent and nothing was done.

One day she’d had enough and stepped onto the bus and told the bus driver that if her child “comes home one more time crying about some child hitting him upside the head or otherwise physically harming him , then the next time you see me on this bus it will be to kick your ass!”  Then she turned to the students and addressed each bully personally, “When I am done with the bus driver, then I am going to kick your asses! If your parents come after me than I will kick their asses!

Result-Bullying stopped!

Please note: I am neither advocating nor disavowing her methods. What I am saying is that it was her direct involvement in the situation that made a difference.  Those bullies realized he had a protector who was willing to do whatever it took to protect her child so they left him alone.

It’s easy to say kids should stand up for themselves, but some kids are just not made that way. Others like hers have minor disabilities that keep them from being able to stand up for themselves.  Someone has to fight for them.

My other friend who was dealing with his issue also tried in vain to get the schools to help, so she and her husband finally elected to remove him from the situation completely.  They looked into other educational options, eventually choosing homeschooling. He is now a thriving, confident teenager who is on schedule to graduate.

If the issue is causing stress that interferes with school performance, they might also be able to get an Individualized Student Success Plan (This plan may be known by various names depending on your school district.) When a student has a plan, the school must meet all the requirements laid out in that plan for that student to succeed.

Remove your child from the drama.  You are not obligated to send your child to that school.  Your child is not entitled to a cell phone or access to social media. Change schools, change districts, find a private school, or home-school. Ban social media. Take away access. Do what you have to do to protect your child.

Finally, parents who can’t or who don’t feel comfortable exercising those options can force school accountability by filing formal grievances and lawsuits BEFORE something happens to their child.  This sends notice that you are serious and forces the schools hand, because now it’s a district issue.

WHAT INDIVIDUALS CAN DO

Gabbie made the sad decision to end her own life.  Jackie in my book Jackie’s Way: Jackie’s Terrible Temper ;(-Click here to learn more.) elected to talk to her grandfather about what was going on.

 

Find a Place of Refuge

Grandpa offered Jackie some concrete advice that helped her solve her issue. Not only that, he offered a willing hand to help if the situation continued to spiral outside the scope if her control. Grandpa became her place of peace.  You must find yours.
PHOTO: Gabbie Green is seen here in this undated file photo.
Gabbie Green is seen here in this undated file photo.
 Help Others Find a Place of Refuge
When my daughter was much younger we enrolled in a home school co-op run by a group of women who’d started the co-op for their own children. As other children became involved this group of children became increasingly cliquish; excluding others including my daughter from their close knit group.
Since I didn’t care much for the women or their immature kids  I elected not to waste my time enlisting their help in solving the problem.
I gave my daughter the following advice. “The next time you are at class look around the room.  See who else is not fitting in or who is not a part of their clique.  Sit next to them. Talk to them, Engage them. I promise you they are feeling like you and will be happy you reached out to them.  Soon you will find yourself with a group of friends and none of those other people will matter.”
It worked, and it was a lesson she has carried with her to this day.  She never worries about “fitting in” because I taught her how to help other people “fit in” with her. When you find your place of refuge and help others find their place of refuge, then those small minded people no longer matter.

 

Fight For Yourself-Make it clear to all that you will fight for yourself.

According to the article Gabbie was also being bullied by teachers and administrators at her school as well as by students. I know for a fact this happens because it happened to me my first week of high school. For some reason an upper class student singled me out as their victim.  I was attempting to enter the gym for class and she blocked the door and refused to move.  Behind her stood the gym teacher/boys varsity basketball coach and  the Jr. Varsity basketball coach, both egging her stupidity on.

I stood there for a few seconds as she continued to block the door and daring me to move her and finally said calmly, “It seems to me you are feeling froggy today.  Go ahead and leap.”

Both coaches stopped the egging and stood behind her in silent shock. This is not what they were expecting. She noticed it too and stopped talking and just stared at me. Then, I proceeded to walk into the gym, using my arm to gently sweep her to the side as I entered.  To save face she said, “Well I guess I’ll let you in this time.”  I laughed.  I could have said more, but what was the point.  I’d won. I never had another problem from that girl, and I’d won the respect of those immature adults.

It was possible that the girl may have been able to beat the snot out of me, but I had to take the risk. See, she had more to lose if she lost the fight, so taking the risk was worth it because since word spreads quickly in high school, it put everyone on notice that this girl (meaning me) will not allow herself to be a victim.

I recall another girl in high school who was repeatedly bullied and no one bothered to help her.  She got so mad she pulled a butcher knife on her antagonists.

PLEASE NOTE: I not justifying resorting to violence, but I can attest to this, those girls NEVER bothered her again.  Find your way to stand up for yourself or resolve to remove yourself from the situation before it escalates to the place where you feel violence or suicide is the only option. Which leads to the next strategy.

Retreat is not Defeat

Everyone of us is different.  We have varying strengths and weakness which ebb and flow as we age and mature. If you don’t feel you are strong enough right now to fight alone, enlist your parents in the battle and retreat to home school, or another school if you need to while the battle is being waged.  Or don’t bother trying to fight that stupid system at all.  If you can-LEAVE! Just get out of it all together. Stay off social media if that is where the bullying is taking place, find another school, or home-school. You won’t always be a kid. Eventually you will get stronger.

Ignore Rumors

 “They were saying that they were going spread rumors about her,” Tanya Green said of the messages. Shane Green added the texts “were telling her that she should just kill herself” and that “nobody liked her.”

When you know yourself rumors about you roll off you like water off a duck. Mind you, I’m not talking about “self-esteem.” Every person struggles with that from time to time.  I’m talking about KNOWING WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON.

For example:

During my junior year of high school a boy who’d changed schools began spreading a rumor that he’d had sex with me. When it first reached my ear I wanted to drive across town and bash his head in, until the friend who’d told me said, “I knew it was a lie when I heard it because I know you.  You know you too, so nothing he says about you should matter.” Pretty profound words for a 16 year old boy. He taught me in that moment that as longs as I knew who I “was” it didn’t matter what others “thought.”

If You Cant Take it Anymore -TELL YOUR PARENTS SO!

According to the article Tanya Green said she “never, never” thought it was possible for her daughter to take her own life. I believe her.  No good parent would leave their child in this situation of they believed it would lead to suicide.  Your parents love you and want the best for you.  They will help you if you help them understand how to help you.  Tell them how you feel and how you want to solve the problem, so they can work with you and advocate for you.

WHAT THE COMMUNITY CAN DO

Following Gabbie’s death, two 12-year-old middle school students were charged with cyber stalking and police believe this contributed to her death. Other students who witnessed the cyber bullying could have stepped in and told the bullying students their behavior was wrong.  If you are a student and you see bullying happening stand up and speak out. Let administrators know you won’t tolerate it happening to others.

Teachers, let your students know you won’t tolerate bullying. When I managed programs I let every participant know bullying would not be tolerated. My staff and I worked to ensure that kids who participated in our program felt safe and valued.  If we witnessed bullying we dealt with it immediately.  As a community, we have to let young people know that conflict is a normal part of life, but when conflict occurs routinely as in bullying situations it will not be tolerated.

 

Bullying is preventable and resolvable, but it takes all of us working together to help ensure that tragedy’s like the one that befell this family never happen again.


Lena Arnold is the author of Jackie’s Way: Jackie’s Terrible Temper.  Return to product information

The book deals with bullying and anger management and offers parents and youth concrete tools to deal with bullying. She has worked with youth for more than 25 years developing programs to help them succeed.  She has a bullying prevention certification, teen date rape certification, and is working towards her prevention certification license. Jackie’s Way can be purchased at Barnes and Nobles, Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

Shamelessly Selling Chocolate

chocolate bar t

OKAY, not gonna lie.  Momma needs to pay some bills.  So check out my Stuff You Can Buy Page or buy from my line of chocolate lovers t shirts.  This is the first.  Someday I will be a big girl and sell these in bulk for less, in the meantime support this not yet starving, but definitely hungry artist by clicking the link below or by selecting the Stuff You Can Buy button above.

 

 

Click here to buy “So this chocolate walks into a bar.”

About This Design

This is where puns go to die, so why try. Let your imagination go wild while you and your friends decide the fate of this unfortunate chocolate bar. One more tee for the chocolate lover in you. Available on nearly 158 other products and styles.

Choosing a Homeschool Curriculum

homeSchoolMaking the decision to home-school is challenging.  Adding to the already difficult decision is figuring out what curriculum(s) to choose.  For some people the choice is as easy as enrolling their child in one of many online schools in their state.  Although there is some debate as to whether or not this is “real” homeschooling. That is for another post, but in the meantime I think parents should do what is:

  • Best for their individual child(ren)
  • Going to cause them the least amount of stress as is possible
  • Going to maximize the educational experience of their child(ren)

Click Here to Read More at Dayton Black Homeschool Network

 

5 Things Direct Sales Reps Want You to Know

5 Things Direct Sales Reps Want You to Know

By Lena Fields Arnold

February 7, 2018

I never thought much about direct sales representatives (aka door to door sales reps) until I became one. It never occurred to me how difficult their job is. Like postal carriers they brave extreme temperature and whether fluctuations, work under the threat of animal attacks, and sometimes have to deal with unreasonable and irrational people who can make their jobs a nightmare.

After dealing with one of the above mentioned unreasonable and irrational people I decided to write this post in the hopes that people will read it and think about it the next time a sales rep comes to your door.

door to door

We Are Not Stupid

In fact, most of us are pretty intelligent.  The vast majorities of sales reps are either pursuing higher education or have completed it.  We hold certifications, associates degrees, bachelor’s degrees, and even master’s degrees. Most of us work in sales because it allows us the flexibility to raise our families, and complete our education while earning a decent income. In many cases were are in an executive training program and often these programs require one year of direct door to door sales before the person can be promoted.

We are entertainers, college students, professional musicians, small business owners and up and coming executives; so when you talk to us, keep that in mind.  We love it when you converse with us, even after you have said no.  Not because we are still trying to sell you anything, but because we are interesting people who are interested in people.

We are Not Ashamed of our Jobs

Susan Horsburgh in her article “Life of a Salesman,” for People Magazine writes, “Door-to-door selling has a long history in the U.S., probably dating to the country’s early days when peddlers carried their wares in tin carriers or piled in a wagon.” Although the practice has significantly declined since 1980, door to door sales still exist and can be very profitable for those with a determined and disciplined nature.

Many successful people today either started out as directs sales reps, selling anything from encyclopedias, vacuums, beauty products, or home goods.  So prevalent was direct sales that once upon a time in America it was through the door to door salesperson that people bought a majority of their products.

As people became more enamored with retail stores and later online shopping, the direct salesperson began to be viewed as an unwelcome intrusion. Nevertheless, the growing use of technologies has not been able to fully kill the entrepreneurial spirit of the direct sales rep.

Sometimes We Really Aren’t Trying To Sell You Anything

We’re not just sales reps.  We are marketing professionals and often the companies we work for will ask us to survey customers for satisfaction, to ascertain why they dropped services, or to inform them of the benefits of new products and upgrades.  One of the first things I do when I am given a new territory is peruse through the list to find existing customers who may be eligible for free or reduced price upgrades. Often these customers aren’t aware of their eligibility. These specials benefit existing customers by saving them money or by increasing the value of their current services.  So when a sales rep says “I am not here to sell you anything.” They may just mean it.

Sales Reps are People Too

Like you we have families, obligations, and personal issues we are dealing with.  We come into this job knowing that 98% of the people don’t want what we are selling or may not see the value in the product. We muddle through because it is our job, and to be truthful most days we like what we do.  But like you, sometimes we have bad days.  So if you can see us through the door, you know you don’t want what we are offering, and you are tempted to answer the door just to be rude; please just don’t.  You are not obligated to open your door and opening it just to tell off a sales rep benefits no one. Most of us respect the No Soliciting sign, so just put one up and most of us won’t bother knocking on your door. Please keep this in mind as I move on to the next point.

no cold callers sign

It cost you nothing to be Nice

If you elect to open the door, remember it cost you nothing to be nice.  You may even be rewarded for it.  Once a lady opened the door just make me aware that I was soliciting in a no solicitation area.  When I informed her that I was not aware, she very politely directed me to the location of the no soliciting sign posted at the entrance to the neighborhood. We talked for a moment about the ordinance and I thanked her for making me cognizant of it and I forwarded a photo of the sign to the company I was working for.

She was so polite that we ended up talking about other issues and to make a long story short I was able to point her in a direction to help her resolve some things she was dealing with. I didn’t sell her anything, yet it was a win-win for both of us. It cost her nothing to be polite and in fact she gained a benefit. It cost you nothing to be polite either.

So to all you sales reps toiling out there in the streets, keep your head up.  I know your job is hard, but you have life goals you are trying to accomplish and as long as your sales job is helping you achieve your objectives keep on keeping on.

I’ll end by encouraging you to read the article Life of a Salesman (link below)by Susan Horsburgh who highlights the story of award winning salesman Bill Porter. According to Horsburgh, Porter, who suffers from cerebral palsy, once crawled the last part of his seven-mile route on his hands and knees. His “grit-and-gumption” story of how he became an award winning salesman was made into a TNT movie entitled “Door to Door.” He was successful because he was motivated by his dreams. I encourage you to remain motivated by yours.

Resources:

Life of a Salesman. (n.d.). Retrieved February 07, 2018, from http://people.com/archive/life-of-a-salesman-vol-58-no-4/

Remember the Door-to-door Sales Days?, Dorene Weinstein retrieved from https://www.argusleader.com/story/life/2014/03/28/remember-door-door-sales-days/7026505/

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Lena Fields-Arnold is an author and motivational speaker whose work has been featured in numerous papers and periodicals. As a writer, Lena seeks to push people past their comfort zones and engage in meaningful dialogue that moves beyond the boundaries of political correctness, and leads to real understanding and mutual respect-even for opposing opinions and beliefs. Lena received her master’s degree on Executive Leadership from Liberty University in Lynchburg, VA and her bachelor’s in Mass Communications Wright State University in Dayton, OH.  As a journalist, she has written for several periodicals and was endorsed by the late CBS News Correspondent Ed Bradley for “…being a thoughtful writer who goes beyond…” To read more of Lena’s Work visit Stuff Inside My Head- the Official Blog of Lena Fields Arnold at: https://lenafieldsarnold.wordpress.com/