A penned this after a recent conversation with one of my best friends whose high school age daughter and also my God-daughter has recently started dating. I asked how he felt about it and whether or not he’d given the boy “the third degree.”
I was shocked when my friend admitted to having had no conversation with either or them adding that “he’s a good boy,” and “she’s a smart girl” so I have nothing to worry about.”
“Since when did being good and smart EVER have anything to do with teenage hormones?” I asked. ” I know plently of good, smart kids who wound up with babies and STD’s and so do you.”
“You know ____. She’s smart like you were back then. She’ll be fine,” He said.
“It’s amazing how the passing of time can cloud people’s memories,” I responded. “Perhaps you have forgotten all the dumb mistakes we made back then and we were also good and smart?”
So this is for all the GOOD and SMART kids out there. It’s a gentle reminder to consider your true motive for dating in high school and think about whether or not that time might be better spent on You. I remember my senior year of high school and my friends and I elected to “date seriously.” It was the worst year of our high school lives. Prior to that my friend and I were happy go lucky teens who pretty much did whatever we wanted to do. Dating complicated our lives and had us making decisions based on what other people wanted rather than what we wanted. We were both academically smart, morally good, socially adept, and datingly STUPID! OMG were we STUPID!
Fortunately, because we were smart we eventually woke up, but not before some serious damage was done, to one of us more than the other. Now I realize this is not everyone’s story and there is a lot more to it that I could tell, however what I encourage teens I come across is to strongly consider forgoing dating at least until you are finished with college or close to it. You already have a lot you need to think about when it comes to making your dreams come true. You don’t need any potential derailments or threats to achieving those dreams. It’s hard enough making decisions about YOU, so why complicate it by adding someone else’s desires concerning you to that mix?
I know some of you are going to say that you met your soulmate in high school, got married, and are still together 30 years later. In fact I know a couple like that but even they have admitted to encouraging their kids to “not do that.”
So those are my thoughts. I’d love to hear yours. The poem is free to share and distribute to all the high schoolers in your world.-Lena