I Am Yellow: Prose of Self Acceptance

I am yellow

I admit that now

Decades of struggling to be

“Black Enough”

Have made me weary

So I am just

Yellow

light skinned

black

but not black

more like black like Jews are Jews

Jewish being both religion and race

Not a color

but a people

That’s me

black as in race?

hmm?

Is that all I am?

Or am I more than that?

I’m the HBCU of people if you will

an HBCP really

a Historically Black Colored Person

One who is tired

tired of feeling like I must apologize for my color

tired of saying “Yes these are my real eyes!” and “Yes this is my real hair!”

questions no one ever asks white people

tired of people thinking I’m physically weak because of my light skin

Don’t get it twisted-I’m not weak!

tired of putting myself in the box marked black

I am not a check mark beside a box

tired of being angry at the police

because they can’t figure where to put people like me

a decision which often determines how they treat people like me

X Mixed Race-“Be careful how you treat them, we don’t know what white people they may be related to in this town?

X Latino-“Are you an American Citizen? Where are you from?”

X Black-“License and Registration right now?”

So yeah!

I’m yellow!

Light skinned

caramel

vanilla

cream

mulatto

quadroon

octoroon

colored

whatever the flavor of the day is

like Queen screaming, “I’s Nigra too!”

More like an HBCU though

doors open

eagerly embracing

all the parts of me

The good

the bad

The pretty

the ugly

African

European

Native American

Asian

It’s all there

just as God intended

Yeah

I’m cool with that

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Lena Fields-Arnold-Amazing 21st Century Writer
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Importance of Adjectives

Adjectives are the paintbrushes of language

Optimistic people begin their day meditating on positive things.  Indeed God provided us with instructions on this very thing.

Philippians 4:8 King James Version (KJV)

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Paul understood the followers of Jesus would face some terrible times in the future.  So he instructed them in these words, reminding them to whom they belonged and the glorious future that awaited those who stand firm in the faith.

Trust me, I understand tough times and I am often tempted to spend my days grumbling about the plight of the world, what I don’t have, and how I wish my life might have been.  But I choose not to. It’s hard sometimes I know.  I remind you today to follow God’s word.  Spend some time thinking about the things that are right in your life.  Did you wake up?  Were you able to get yourself out of bed?  Were you able to walk to the bathroom?  Did you have a bathroom to walk into?  We take for granted the things we have until we no longer have them.

Michael Jackson (I know you either love him or hate him) once said, “If you enter this world knowing you were loved, and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.”

Click to Watch Video

Yes, sometimes terrible things will happen and when those times do come it will be difficult to remain optimistic. So today, if all is well I encourage you to spend a few moments before you start your day by putting some positive adjectives in your mouth.  I have provided you with some to help you get started.  Enjoy-Lena

P.S.-Don’t be surprised that as soon as you begin this practice someone, or something will happen to make you want to do the opposite.  Try anyway.  What have you got to lose?

 

adjectives wordcloud

Always Be Being Amazing!

Jackie

When I was much much much…Younger I had a very bad habit of dumbing myself down so that others wouldn’t feel small.  I convinced myself that I was doing so because I didn’t want them to think I was better than them, smarter than them, or more talented than them.  The truth was that I really didn’t believe in the merits of myself.  I didn’t really believe that I was good enough.

Now I know better.  So if you are one of those people I say to you today-STOP IT!

Don’t ever allow yourself to become small so that others can feel big. Stand confidently in the shine that is you, and if anyone tries to move in on your shine-rapidly boot them out.  It’s your stage-Own it!

My good friend Dr. Karen Townsend, author, business consultant, life coach, and founder of About My Sister’s and Sister to Sister once told me “Lena, you need to create an  I’m the stuff folder! Start writing down all the amazing things you do everyday-on your job, at home, in the community.  Not only is it a reminder of how awesome you are, but when you are updating your  resume, you don’t have to think about the positive impact you have had.  It’s right there.”

So today!-Right now even.  Get out a pen and paper and start writing down all things about you that make you amazing.  You may start out simply with:

  • Got out of bed and made an amazing healthy breakfast
  • Raising strong, confident children
  • Delivered neighborhood newsletters
  • Gave my boss good advice.  They didn’t listen, but I gave it to ’em anyway
  • Didn’t give in to road rage this morning
  • Orchestrated a new business partnership
  • Wrote a blog

Before you know it you will have a whole list of things. You can keep separate list.  One for your job, one for home, one for personal.

So go out there and BE AMAZING!

 

 

 

Recording of “Ode to Bacon”

Now this is a poem I can sink my teeth into!!! Love it. That’s exactly how I feel about 🥓😃😃

O at the Edges

Ode to Bacon

How you lend
yourself
to others,

enhancing even
the sweetest fig
in your embrace
over coals,

or consider
your rendered
self, how it

deepens flavor
with piggish
essence, coating

or absorbed,
blended or
sopped. O belly
of delight, o wonder
of tongues,

how could I not
love you
and your infinite
charms, even

when you resist
my efforts and
shoot sizzling bits

of yourself
onto my naked
hands? I pay

this toll
gladly,
today and

next year
and all those
days to follow,

till the last piece
is swallowed
and our sun
goes dark.

Hyperbole
becomes you,
smoked beauty,
salted love,

and I shall never
put you down
or leave you
behind

on a plate
to be discarded
or forgotten,

unloved.

“Ode to Bacon” first appeared here in July 2017, thanks to T.S. Wright’s challenge.

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