Importance of Reading to Your Children

Some months ago I posted a link to an article on the Dayton Black Homeschool Network entitled, “Cultivating a Love for Reading in Your Child.” Even though our children are older and can tackle books like the unabridged version of “Les Miserables,” we still read together.  I stumbled upon this article by Michelle Woo that does a great job of explaining why we still do so.  Check it out

Don’t Stop Reading to Your Kids Once They Learn How to Read 


Woo also suggest that parents turn on captions to increase verbal and spelling skills as well as subtitles to help build foreign language skills.  I think I’m gonna try that. Maybe I’ll even make them play video games in the languages they are studying.

Check out some of my other posts and follow me if you like what you read.  As always, visit my Stuff you can Buy page, and Stuff you can stuff page.  Momma needs a new pair of shoes.





Black Man Kicked Out of Yogurt Shop Refuses to Accept Store Owners Apology-Why?

Lena Arnold

November 22, 2018

A black man who was recently kicked out of a yogurt shop refuses to accept store owners apology for the actions of his employees.

Click here to read the full article

The owner of the store has since publicly apologized for the actions of his employees, closing the store for a day and posting the apology on the door of the establishment. By all accounts he has tried to reach out to the victim to attempt to reconcile.

According to the article, Mr Ragland doesn’t feel an apology is enough. He is exploring litigation options and further feels the business owner should lose his business license. My question is, why isn’t an apology enough?

Well it could be because it’s a half ass apology as demonstrated by this photo courtesy of “A Glossy Life” (

im sorry

Real leaders own their crap and don’t make excuses for it. As the author of “In the Absence of my Father” I talk to a lot of parents regarding rebuilding relationships with the children they have hurt. They often ask, “What can I do to repair the breach?”

“Have you tried saying ‘I’m  sorry.”

Many will claim to have tried but their kids still reject them.

I then ask, “Have you tried saying ‘I’m sorry without the-but…”

I try to get them to understand that the people you’ve hurt don’t really care about your reasons.  They just care about the sincerity. They want to know you have put yourself in their shoes and truly understand how their actions have harmed you. They want to be ensured that if they put their trust in you again it’s deserved.

In other words, they want to know that YOU know what you did was wrong. Why what you did was wrong, and what are you going to do moving forward to ensure it does not happen again.

Speaking as someone who has been involved with helping friends successfully resolve discrimination settlements, I can attest to this fact-if each of the discriminating entities had issued genuine apologies, and worked to reconcile the problem, not one of them would have resulted in a lawsuit.

However, by all accounts this store owner seems to have done this. So why then not accept the apology? Why not work together to promote positive change? The owners last name is Cruz, which means he is also most likely classified as a “minority.” Therefore instead of hoping the doors of his business close, why not work with him on hiring more minority employees who don’t have the same “fears” as his current employees?

Being discriminated against hurts. I get that. I’ve been there. Like most people of color I’ve been there more times than any white person I know.  At last count nearly 20 in my lifetime either directly, or indirectly while I was with a friend. That’s waaaaaaay too many. So I empathize with Mr. Ragland.

As leaders, and he appears to be one, when those rare opportunities for resolution arise, we should endeavor to be open. I hope he will change his mind and reach out to Mr. Cruz. I hope they can work together and be agents of positive community change. I hope the news will be as eager to report that news story as the current one.


This incident, from what I have read so far can and should be different.

Am I absolving those employees? ABSOLUTELY NOT. The manager who gave the thumbs up should at the least lose a couple weeks pay and be made to attend some type of diversity training before returning to work. All employees should have to take the training. All employees involved should have to write written apologies to Mr. Ragland, as well as the officers involved. Because this could easily have turned deadly. Thank God it did not.

Leaders, lead. I pray all the leaders in this incident rise up and do so.


In Good Company: Michelle Obama’s Infertility Challenge

It would seem my husband and I are in good company.  We share infertility stories with the Obama family.  How cool is that?

NOT that infertility is cool. ‘Cause it’s not.  It’s very painful, as anyone who has ever experienced infertility will acknowledge.  However, knowing you are not alone is half the battle, because when you are dealing with it-you feel very alone.

Doubly alone if you are black because everybody knows that black women do not struggle with infertility right? Wrong.  I attest to this fact when recounting my own infertility in my book For This Child We Prayed: Living with the Secret Shame of Infertility.

Add Christian to the sentence and you feel as if there isn’t a soul who will understand.  As soon as you try to talk about a struggle in a faith based community you can get a plethora of stupid comments like:

Ya’ll need to pray more.

You just don’t have enough faith.

You know you can give your way out right?  Just make a pledge to the church.

Maybe it’s just not God’s will?

Maybe you all just need to shut up!

  “I felt like I failed,” Obama told Roberts. “Because I didn’t know how common       miscarriages were. Because we don’t talk about them.”

Many women who struggle with infertility feel the same way.  It’s as if our bodies have failed us in the worst way ever.  This feeling is compounded when you are black. When I read the former first lady’s words I immediately identified with them.

According to Ronisha Browdy (cited in the article for the Atlantic)

There’s a historical system that has been used to deny black women the status of true womanhood…Mothering is also attached to black women in stereotypical ways, whether they have children or not—they were situated within slavery as ‘mammy’ and sexually exploited as breeders.”

Therefore when you can’t “breed” you have no value, and that thought continues to be ingrained in the minds of black women.  Further compunding this stereotype as the article states is the fact that “Film and television portrayals of infertile women” are preponderantly aimed at white women.

Click here to buy the e book for only .99 cents

Click here to read the “For This Child We Prayed Blog”

So to hear a person like Michelle Obama open up it was refreshing.  It was hopeful that our struggle might now be seen as valid and those like us will find no shame in seeking the help we need.

When I wrote my book in 2007, it was the first to be written from both the black and Christian perspectives.  Since that time more books and blogs have been written.  While I can’t prove it, I like to think I had something to do with that.

To Read Michelle Obama’s Account Click Here


Click here to buy the paperback on Amazon